Sizing up the season

THIS season’s Casey Cardinia League Pakenham Gazette tipsters, BRAD ‘TANGLES’ KINGSBURY, STUART ‘STUEY’ BATTEN and TRAVIS ‘MURPH’ MURPHY got together for a beer at the Berwick Inn last week and chewed the fat over the
coming season, each others’ knowledge and football in general. Batten and Murphy will also act as senior runners for leading premiership hopes
Doveton and Pakenham this season.

Tangles: You blokes have a lot of time to watch the game, given you’re the two slowest runners in the competition – what’s your spin on this year’s competition?
Murph: You can clip him now if you want to Stu and set the rules early.
Stuey: I’ll wait until the numbskull has shouted and thinks he’s safe, it’s more fun that way. I caught ‘Jock’ Holland during a game one day, does that count?
Murph: No, he’s slow too.
Tangles: Come on, excluding your own sides, what’s the team to beat this year?
Murph: Obviously Doveton, but I reckon Beacy will really improve. With Taylor and Kelf back and a few others they’ve picked up.
I sneaked down and had a look at them train a couple of times and they look all right. ROC will improve too.
Stuey: What just because Tivendale’s there? They’ll still need someone to go in and get the ball out to him.
Tangles: The Kangaroos have picked up a few others as well. I had a look at them against Bunyip and there’s a bloke from Sydney called Shaun Jones who goes okay at the pill.
Murph: Narre Warren will still be good.
Stuey: They haven’t lost that many and their backline’s still the same.
Tangles: What, don’t you count Danny Brewster? He played fullback in the last three premiership sides and he’s gone to Warragul Industrials. They’ve lost both the Brewsters, both the Clarks and Nick Scanlon.
Stuey: He’s their biggest loss, he’s gone to the Scorpions hasn’t he?
Murph: Yep. They’ve lost a bit of experience, but they’ve got a heap of juniors coming through and they can all play too.
Stuey: Keysborough will probably be up there again. They’ve lost Daly, but they’ve picked up a s…load from Clayton, but we’ll have to see how good they are.
Tangles: Are you still dirty on Vic Currie going to Keysy instead of Doveton? You had a fair crack at him didn’t you?
Stuey: He was originally a Doveton boy.
Murph: There’s a bit of turmoil down at Doveton is there? That’s what I’ve heard on the grapevine.
Stuey: There’s always turmoil at Doveton. That’s the way we like it.
Tangles: Danny Casset signed on and then walked out. That would have been a blow.
Stuey: ‘Bully’ (Clint Wilson) is coaching well and Casset’s loss means nothing because we never had him. We got our flag out of him in 2005 and I couldn’t care less about him taking off. He brings everyone down because they’re all worrying about him and not the side.
Murph: Hey Tangles, what’s going on at Garfield? Are they still operating or what?
Stuey: What do you mean?
Tangles: Garfield was on the verge of closing its doors a couple of weeks ago.
Stuey: Fair dinkum? What happened, did Lincoln Withers take too much?
Tangles: Their players have walked because they don’t want to travel. It’s been that way for the last couple of years, but Ben Soumilas has kept the side together.
When he left, so did the majority of the players and now they’re only going to field seniors and under-16s this year. No reserves and no under-18s.
Murph: They’ll get smashed. Weren’t they going to come to our league at one stage?
Tangles: There was talk of that, but it’s too late now. They should have gone to the Ellinbank league when the members voted to, instead of being forced to stay in West Gippsland Latrobe when nobody wanted to.
Murph: I’m not that sad – they kicked us out of the (West Gippsland League) and now it’s come back to bite them.
Stuey: Wonthaggi should come into our league now.
Tangles: That’s on the cards too. You’ll hear more about that in the next few weeks, but I will say that there are a lot of discussions going on behind closed doors.
Most at Wonthaggi are absolutely opposed to going to West Gippsland again.
Stuey: Anyway Murphy, what’s going on at Pakenham?
Murph: We’re going along alright. Had a couple of practice matches and had a few out, but we’ll be okay.
Stuey: Is the little round bloke going to make a comeback?
Murph: Who the coach? No he’s too grumpy for that. He was born grumpy.
Stuey: Yeah, I speak to him on the phone sometimes and it’s like I’ve killed someone.
Tangles: Jock’s a straight shooter and better than plenty I’ve had to deal with over the years. Okay, give us your top five and your bottom side.
Murph: Pakenham, Doveton, Keysborough, Beaconsfield and Narre. Tooradin to finish on the bottom.
Stuey: Yeah, Tooradin – no, I’ll change that, Berwick to finish on the bottom.
The five – ‘Struggletown’ (Doveton) on top, then Pakenham, Keysborough, Narre Warren and Beaconsfield.
Tangles: I’m with Murph, but Keysborough might give both your sides a shake for top spot. What about a smokey?
Murph: Cranbourne is my smokey.
Stuey: I’m not interested in the rest of them. I suppose I’ll have to put Cranbourne in there for ‘Boo’ Dalgleish’s sake, otherwise he’ll sook up.
Tangles: And what about the best-and-fairest?
Stuey: Ricky Hayes for me. I’m off the on-ballers, they’re all soft these days.
Murph: You’ve got no idea have you? An on-baller will win it by a mile. Probably someone like Jared Goldsack or Robbie Taylor. The umpires love them. The runners will poll okay too.
Tangles: And what about modern football, what’s your spin on that?
Murph: AFL – it’s boring. They’re all robots. There’s no doubt it’s quicker, but there are some soft players out there now.
Stuey: I don’t mind it so much. I’m one of those blokes that just goes with the tide. Carlton’s on the way back, so it has to be good doesn’t it?
Tangles: That’s rich coming from a bloke that has spent the last two years bagging it.
Murph: If Nick Maxwell had gone for that hip-and-shoulder bump in the NAB Cup, that would have stuffed football for good.
Stuey: Agree with that, even though he is a Collingwood no-talent and the worst captain in the AFL.
Murph: By far.
Tangles: You both wish you were Magpies deep down, I know.
Murph: Idiot!
Stuey : Go and get us a pot, numbskull.