No holds were barred when Gazette tipsters Travis Murphy, left, and Stuart Batten, right, joined Tangles for a mid-season pow-wow last week. 28830 Picture: Stewart ChambersPAKENHAM Gazette tipsters, Brad ‘Tangles’ Kingsbury, Stuart ‘Stuey’ Batten and Travis ‘Murph’ Murphy thought the Queen’s Birthday was a good enough reason to get together and analyse the first eight weeks of a cracking local football season over a frothy or two at the Berwick Inn last week.
It was also a good chance for Batten and Murphy to pick each other’s brains before this weekend’s game-to-end-all-games between undefeated foes Doveton and Pakenham.
Tangles: You greeted us with ‘the bird’ Stu? Ben Cousins is $5000 lighter in the kick for doing that last week – what do you reckon about that?
Stuey: That’s how we communicate in Doveton. Either the bird or the fist …
Murph: The cameras shouldn’t be allowed in the changerooms. The AFL players can’t do or say anything and it’s because of you blokes (the media).
Tangles: I never ran those pictures of you in ladies underwear did I? There’s been plenty of highlights this year. Any stick out?
Stuey: I saw Greg Tivendale’s first-ever physical contact in football when ROC played us.
He cleaned up Matty Miller a beauty. I went out and told Matty he was stiff and Tivendale laughed.
I ended up having a beer with him afterwards and he’s a super bloke. It’s great having blokes like him coming back to the local league.
Murph: This league’s going really well this year. Hampton Park hasn’t won a game, but they’ve got plenty of talent and they play a good brand of footy. The whole competition has improved.
Stuey: Don’t know about Beaconsfield though. Did they really have a 4am training session?
Tangles: Yep. Forty of them rocked up, trained for two hours, had breakfast and then watched a DVD that night to bond.
Stuey: How many of them came straight from the pub – that’s the only way I would have got there.
Murph: I think there might be a few better ways of bonding.
Tangles: They’re a bit too nice, I reckon.
Murph: They never used to be. They were cocky and hard-at-it, I don’t know what’s happened down there.
Tangles: It’s just modern footy mate, they get 50-metre penalties for sneezing these days and the players are too scared to touch anyone.
Stuey: You know why the umpires are paying 50-metre penalties for nothing? It’s because they need a breather. This footy is so fast now that they can’t keep up. They really need three umpires on big grounds.
Tangles: You mentioned mercenaries before Stu, were you talking about some of the Ellinbank clubs?
Stuey: Full of prostitutes!
Tangles: Nilma-Darnum actually lists all their recruits on a handout at the gate called the ‘Brag Sheet’.
You can’t say they’re trying to hide the fact that they are trying to buy a flag. There’s no salary cap and no player points system in that league, so it’s open slather for the rich clubs.
Stuey: A couple of years ago their president rang me and tried to get me and Matty Miller to play there. They must have rung everyone.
Tangles: You only have to look at most of the players at Cora Lynn and the Narre Warren connection to Warragul Industrials this year. Money talks if you’ve got it.
Murph: And Nar Nar Goon make out they’re the club for locals, but didn’t they rape ROC a couple of years ago?
Tangles: Poor old ROC didn’t win a game after they all left, but I think they’re back on the right track now. It kills you for a while though and something needs to be done in that league.
Stuey: They might want to reassess bringing Wonthaggi into the (Casey Cardinia) league after they got beaten by Phillip Island a couple of weeks ago.
Tangles: I reckon they will come in. They have to leave the Alberton league and a couple of weeks ago they voted unanimously as a club that they will fold rather than join the West Gippsland Latrobe league.
What happened when they were in West Gippy, Murph?
Murph: I don’t know mate, but it must have been nasty – you’d have to ask (Chris) Soumilas or (Rod) Ferguson.
Stuey: I hope Wonthaggi does come in – it’s an eight-can trip back from there!
Tangles: Interleague last weekend boys – you blokes are a big wrap for that, aren’t you?
Stuey: When I played interleague I loved it.
Murph: I loved it too, but I reckon these one-off games should be 25-year-olds and under to give the younger players a taste of it.
The best thing about interleague was the socialising off the field.
Tangles: I was involved in a District game at Geelong with Stuey in 1997 and we got on the sauce afterwards. In hindsight my life took a nosedive after that.
Stuey: I think we ended up getting kicked out of the Prince Mark in Doveton at about 7am.
Tangles: And what a cracking side we had too. No other league would play us the next year.
Murph: We went to Swan Hill on a plane when I played for West Gippsland in the early ’90s.
Chris O’Sullivan organised it and that was a great trip, except ‘Doodles’ (Dan O’Loughlin) wouldn’t get on the plane because he was scared of flying. He drove up.
Stuey: What, was he afraid of, getting a nosebleed? Just as well really – imaging that nose bleeding . . .
Tangles: Let’s get on to this week’s big game and don’t start playing all coy either – you both want to win and you both think your sides will.
Murph: I think Pakenham has a problem with lapses and that’s our weakness.
Stuey: Both sides do.
Tangles: Is that down to arrogance?
Murph: I think so. Too many of them read what you write and believe it.
Stuey: Too many players believe what spectators tell them, that’s their biggest problem.
Murph: You let Casset back into the club pretty easy after he walked out on you.
Stuey: Of course we did. ‘Cass’ was always coming back and we knew it – he’s been good, but.
Tangles: And ‘Bully’ (Clint Wilson) has been unbelievable so far. I know he’s not officially the coach, but everyone knows he’s coaching and the side’s really responding.
Stuey: You’re right for once.
Hey Murph, Doveton’s supposed to be the rough side, but we haven’t had one bloke sent from the field all year and you’ve had more reports than any other side.
Tangles: Discipline problems at Paky, eh?
Murph: Yep and ‘Jock’ (Michael Holland) has let the players know it too.
Stuey: How’s the little round bloke going anyway?
Murph: He’s happy – well as happy as Jock can ever be.
Tangles: You will no doubt be taking this opportunity to issue a full and unconditional apology to Berwick for slagging them off and tipping them to finish last?
Stuey: No I won’t. I’ll admit they can play a bit better than I thought, but their new supporters need to learn a bit about respect.
Murph: What happened?
Stuey: When we played them I was in the (coaches) box with ‘Tibbs’ (Brian Tiballs), ‘Hendo’ (Steve Hendy) and ‘Motty’ (Mark Mott) and in the last quarter this fat idiot and a few of his mates started mouthing off and yelling ‘Why aren’t you out there? Are you too soft?’
Murph: That’s funny. You terrorised Berwick for 20 years.
Tangles: I was standing on the hill between them with my boy and heard it.
Never seen any of them before and I reckon the price tags on their new Berwick jackets were still hanging out, but the way they were carrying on, you’d swear they’d been at the club all their life.
Stuey: That’s my point. That day I knew three people at Berwick, Cliff Donegan, Peter Van Diemen and Andrew Tuck, but their huddle was like a final.
Murph: Where have they all come from?
Tangles: Their new recruits and the junior club I think. Berwick isn’t the worry as far as my tips are concerned, bloody Keysborough is.
Stuey: Hey what about a straight coach swap – (Terry) Wallace for Siwey (Greg Siwes)?
Murph: Nuh, Keysy wouldn’t want Wallace and Siwey wouldn’t want Richmond.
Tangles: I’m pretty happy with myself tipping Cranbourne as the big improver.
Stuey: I think I tipped that and you two jumped on board.
Tangles: I reckon Doug Koop is just about the best coach going round at the moment. He’s got those blokes firing.
Murph: They didn’t fire against us and Koop didn’t even address them at quarter time.
Tangles: I don’t know about that, but I’ve seen them three times this year and Koopy’s spoken well. I’m looking forward to their rematch with your mob, I’ll be stirring that one up.
Murph: I don’t know why we bother doing this Stuey. He writes what he likes anyway.
Stuey: And he hasn’t shouted – again!
Tangles: I spend hours turning this rubbish into English. I think I might swap you two for ‘Cass’ and ‘Doodles’ next time.
