AUSTRALIANS will sit down in their millions this month to watch two people hit a ball across a net.
Televised tennis is upon us and with it comes the annual question: why do we so fervently follow a sport for a few weeks each year and then ignore it until next time the caravan rolls into town?
Obviously, having a Grand Slam tournament in our own backyard is a significant event. But whether it’s played in Melbourne or Moscow, it’s still the same game being played by the same people.
Football fans devour every scrap of news about their team every day of the year. Soccer fans follow the game here and abroad with undying interest. Cricket tragics track the fortunes of the Baggy Green from Cape Town to Kingston, Jamaica. These sports survive on spectator passion.
The reason we no longer have a passion for tennis is that it has become a boring sport.
The players are bigger, stronger and fitter than ever before. This, combined with racquet technology, has meant more aces, more double-handed thuggery and more unplayable shots. The reason past generations loved tennis was the finesse, skill and tactics of the game.
The fact that it is an individual sport – with particularly dull players – also limits its appeal. Team sports allow fans to support a side throughout their life. Solo sports mean new favourites need to be found every decade or so. Sometimes it not easy to find an appealing character among the colourless tennis folk.
Television coverage of tennis should be adding to its appeal. Camera angles are better than ever, while technology like Hawkeye is a wonderful addition to the sport.
Unfortunately, Channel Seven’s commentators let the whole product down. Its commentary team has some of the worst performers in television sports history.
Mercifully, John Alexander was voted in as the Member for Bennelong and won’t be polluting the airwaves this year with his inane observations.
But that still leaves Bruce McAvaney, Todd Woodbridge, John Fitzgerald and Sandy Roberts to state the bleeding obvious.
Here are a few of the incisive comments you are likely to hear this summer:
Hewitt is two sets down and facing break point on his serve: “He’ll want a big first serve here.” No, I thought he’d be looking for a double fault.
Nadal whips a crosscourt winner from the fifth row of the stands: “Good shot”. I’m not blind.
Cross to the courtside commentator for expert, up-close analysis: “These players are giving their all down here.” I’d hope so.
Middle of crucial game in fifth set: “Don’t forget the new season of Cougar Town coming up on Seven right after the tennis.” Well, at least the dialogue couldn’t be worse.
Jim Courier is a shining light in the commentary box, but even he has sounded tetchy in recent years, goading John Alexander and Co. for their cliched and oft-repeated comments.
Maybe we tune in because we’re creatures of habit. It seems we don’t particularly like watching the game, it’s doubtful anyone likes the commentary and few of us ever pick up a tennis racquet.
But maybe like the scorch of sunburnt skin, the buzzing of mozzies in bed at night or a third-degree burn from a vinyl car seat, Channel Seven’s tennis coverage is just a part of summer that we have all grown up with and have learnt to endure.
– Danny Buttler
