MUSIC has always provided a signpost of generational change.
Teenage Elvis fans turned on their parents and their collection of Bing Crosby and Val Doonican records. Beatles, Stones and Who fans scorned the dated sounds of a flabby Elvis. Punk sounded the death knell for overblown ’70s rock gods and dreadful disco divas. The alternative wave that spawned Nirvana and co. was a new generation’s reaction to the big hair and shrivelled soul of ’80s music.
Today, however, it is not so much what people are listening to, but how they listen, that defines changing generations. It can even offer an insight into their attitude to the law and Moses’ eighth commandment.
Here’s a quick spotter’s guide to make it easier to identify and pigeon-hole music fans in your neighbourhood or workplace.
THE RECORD COLLECTOR: Very serious if somewhat disturbing folk who prize their vinyl above other forms of music storage. They scour the internet or record stores for obscure pressings from even more obscure artists. If you ever hear someone say “I just found a rare 1982 Japanese picture disc of The Scorpions’ unreleased B sides”, avoid eye contact and walk away slowly. Do not engage in conversation about whether records sound better than compact discs.
CASSETTE HOARDERS: Exclusively the domain of people over the age of 60. Refuse to acknowledge that compact discs may have won the race to replace the vinyl record. Common tapes to be found include Aker Bilk’s clarinet classics and Marion Martin Sings the Songs of Scotland. These people believe auto-reverse was the peak of music listening technology. Quite literally, a dying breed.
COMPACT DISCERS: Still perhaps the largest group in the music listening community. While CD sales slump in the face of the internet assault, there are still millions – if not billions – of the shiny silver circles on bookshelves around the country. People still listening exclusively to CDs are more than likely over 40 (“I’m too old to start changing now”), techno-phobic (“I can’t get my head around this new-fangled technology”) or have lost interest in buying new music (“they stopped making good albums when UB40 split up”).
THE BORROWERS: These people have mastered their computers to the point that they can upload music from CDs to store in their system. They can then play the songs on the computer, sync it to MP3 devices or even burn onto another CD. Public Library catalogues can be used to amass a vast and free collection of music. Buying CDs, uploading them and returning to stores for a refund is also commonplace. These people like music but don’t like spending money. Toe-tapping tightwads.
THIEVES: There’s no other word for these light-fingered folk – except maybe criminals or crooks. These people have conquered both their computers and their consciences. Stealing music is as simple as finding the right website, signing up, downloading the music and enjoying the ill-gotten gains. Presumably these people, if they thought there was no chance of getting caught, would walk into a record store like Sanity, JB Hi-Fi or Brashes, and steal whatever they liked. Most popular songs pinched by computer kleptomanics include Britney Spears’ “Whoops, I did it again”, “Guilty” by Randy Newman, “Been caught stealing” by Jane’s Addiction and AC/DC’s “Highway to hell”.
UPRIGHT CYBER CITIZENS: Modern skills and old-fashioned values separate the legal downloaders from their morally bankrupt counterparts. Anyone who can download a song from iTunes can steal a song from other internet sites – but these folk choose not to. Instead they pay out their hard earned to support struggling artists like Justin Timberlake, U2, 50 Cents and John Farnham. They don’t need the latest iPod or speaker system to enjoy their music – a clear conscience provides the perfect acoustics for every note.
