‘Do right’ tale done wrong

– Jason Beck
FASTER is basically a comic book brought to the screen.
The problem is, it’s not a very good comic book.
While Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is nominally the star, fast cars and big guns are doing all the heavy lifting here.
The plot revolves around The Rock’s character – known as Driver – getting revenge for his brother’s murder.
Enter the weaponry, and not too much conversation.
Early in the piece, The Rock finds himself re-arranging a chap’s cranial matter via a heavy calibre handgun used in very close proximity to his victim’s head.
Of course, it’s all caught on security camera – full face, in almost loving detail.
And that’s where things get interesting.
In American terms, The Rock weighs in at maybe 260 pounds, and is about six feet four inches tall – and six axe handles across the shoulders.
Oh, and the movie sees him driving a wildly individual veteran muscle car.
Given all this, he’d be kind of distinctive in any all points bulletin.
Strangely, the highly-trained officers in the world’s foremost police state can’t seem to track him down.
The suspension of disbelief requires us to believe that these wall-to-wall police officers can’t find their butts in a bucket with both their hands and a torch.
All this is kind of central to the way this shallow comic book plays out.
In retrospect, the drive to and from the cinema was more enjoyable – but then mowing the lawn would have been, too.
The film is quite nicely shot, and this is probably its only saving grace from being a total waste of celluloid.
It’s just as well Driver lets his gun do the talking – because he, and this movie, have nothing to say.